I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
