What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
