I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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