I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
