this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
