I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
