I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
