Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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