yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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