im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
