Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
