Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
