I could have mohawked her pubes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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