wanna go halves on a baby?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
