Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
