Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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