I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
then he tried to convert me to islam
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
