Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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