addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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