The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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