Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
