Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
