i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
