Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
