Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize