WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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