hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We talked him into tasing himself.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
