What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
