I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
