ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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