Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
