i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this beer tastes like vomit already
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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