Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I donβt have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
