Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
