we have officially lost it.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
