I love black thongs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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