So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
