TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is wine microwaveable?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
