i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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