Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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