Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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