I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
