Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
