I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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