I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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