So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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