And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
