he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
