Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
