Sponge bath it is.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
