ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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