so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
