Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize