mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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