called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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