My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
