His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
