I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
