Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
