so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
