There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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