If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
