I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I supernannyed him into submission
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
