I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
