did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
