i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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