discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
