And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
