another moral hangover. fuck.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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