Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
PANTIES FOUND
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