How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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