Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
