i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do vagina's smell?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
