There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize